Considering recent global media reports, I found it timely to revisit this post. Whether you're a friend, ally, or someone eager to learn, I want to share the invaluable insights I've gained during my life journey.

As we delve into this topic, remember that this isn't an esoteric discourse; it's a discussion about my life and the lives of millions worldwide. Understanding gender beyond the surface is crucial because, for many, the consequences of non-acceptance can be fatal, as highlighted every November 20th during Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) events. 

The TDOR lists memorialise those lost to violence and those who succumbed to the various forms of oppression we face due to our differences. In my age group (50+), the rate of suicide and attempted suicide hovers at around 50% (+/- 4%).

Gender diversity isn't a new trend; it's becoming more visible. This is partly thanks to more comprehensive media coverage, changing laws in some countries, increased societal acceptance, and personal journeys like mine. In my case, I spent 41 years concealing my true self. However, transgender individuals have existed for thousands of years in human history, with our representation in the population remaining stable at around 0.4%. You hear about us more now because communication channels have expanded.

Furthermore, being transgender isn't a mere declaration; it involves adhering to established medical standards. The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) sets these standards, which individual countries can adapt. The Canadian Professional Association for Transgender Health (CPATH) guided my medical journey, involving multiple professionals' reviews before any treatment.

Now, let's dive into the discussion that "Gender is not Genitalia." Consider the Gender Unicorn model as a simple way to visualise this concept. Humans are far more intricate than four variables.

I'll use this model to describe what I've come to accept. Our Gender Identity resides in our brain. We all begin as female embryos, and our bodies develop differently during gestation due to chemical influences. Attempts to reprogram the brain, as seen in conversion or reparative therapy, have been debunked. These traits are inherent from birth. I, too, grappled with denial as a crossdresser for 41 years before accepting that I am transgender, born this way. Interestingly, my mother sensed this during her pregnancy and even chose the middle name Alison, which would have been my given name.

Who we love is also innate but separate from gender identity. Societal pressure can lead people to suppress their true selves, as I have done for over 30 years. It's essential to understand that love is diverse, regardless of whether you're straight or transgender

Sex or genitalia is not synonymous with gender. In English, these terms are often mixed. When I was born, the doctor assigned me a sex, but gender identity can't be determined until self-awareness develops. While gender identity remains unchanged, modern medical procedures can alter genitalia. This aligns with the fact that we all begin as female embryos, and surgery can rectify the mismatch between genitalia and gender identity.

The final trait is appearance – how we present ourselves. If you've seen me, you'd know I present as very feminine.

Three traits align with the female definition, and the fourth was adjusted through surgery. If all four attributes align with your genitalia, that's perfectly fine. Differences don't invalidate us; they make us unique. The key is accepting these differences without requiring complete understanding, trusting in medical professionals, and allowing everyone to follow their life journey, even if it differs from yours.

For us on this journey and those supporting us, courage lies in embracing this diversity. It's about acknowledging the spectrum of identity within each trait and recognising that it's part of the rich tapestry of human existence.

Let's stand together to respect, accept, and celebrate our diversity.

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Cynthia has more than 25 years of experience in corporate and board leadership. For the past seven years, Cynthia has dedicated her time to supporting the LGBTQ+ community and women's rights. She is available to speak, mentor, or consult for your next educational event related to gender. If you have any inquiries, please get in touch with [email protected]

Cynthia Fortlage 

Adapted from the original article published on https://www.cynthiafortlage.com

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